When you educate your children about chores, you are teaching them about responsibility. But the very act of talking to them about it can seem like… well, a chore itself. Here’s how to make it easier on both of you.
Chores. Let’s face it, none of us like performing them. But for parents, you know that putting them off for another day doesn’t just mean they’ll go uncompleted. It also means you’re setting a bad example for your kids.
Kids are stubborn. For them, there’s always five more minutes. Which turn into five more hours. And five more days.
That chores are an indispensable part of growing up goes without question. But so is questioning why they’re necessary in the first place. Naturally, you want to teach your child about responsibility and self reliance. But your child has other plans. More toys out in the open. One more video game. And another sippy cup left hidden in a pile of clothes next to the living room couch.
It might seem like an unavoidable part of being a parent. Annoying, but inevitable. But failing to teach your kids about the importance of performing chores can have surprisingly deep ramifications. It doesn’t just teach laziness. It teaches a lack of accountability. It teaches a sense of entitlement. And it teaches your children that work and responsibility can be simply shrugged off. That they can treat their belongings poorly because someone will replace it when it gets broken or ruined. And that stigma can set a pattern which lasts well into adulthood.
Still find your child’s refusal to do chores to be simply a minor frustration? Luckily, there are ways in which you can not only teach them about the value of chores, but make them seem both rewarding and fun at the same time.
What Age Is Appropriate For My Child’s Chores?
While age appropriate chores can sometimes depend on your child’s physical and personal development, you may be surprised to find out just how young they can start—often as little as 2 years old. In fact, the younger you begin to instill the value of chores in your child, the more ingrained of a habit it becomes.
The key is to start slowly. Don’t overwhelm them with daily tasks all at once. Not only will they rarely be capable of remembering them, they’ll rarely be capable of completing them all. Which will lead to an inevitable sense of frustration for them. Remember, you’re not just teaching them responsibility. You’re teaching them self esteem.
Pick a small task or two they can accomplish a handful of days out of the week. Don’t let them get discouraged if they’re unable to remember at first. Remind them calmly, and check off each task. If it looks like they’re struggling, assist them only for the first few times. Don’t hover over them, but stay nearby and allow them to finish. Encourage them both before, during, and afterwards.
When they manage to complete their tasks (and you may have to remind them during the first few weeks), increase the frequency they perform their chores gradually until it’s every single day. You’ll find it takes much less time than you expected at first. Not only that, but their sense of pride will grow immeasurably.
Below, you’ll find an approximate list of age-appropriate chores. Keep in mind that these are simply suggestions, and you may find your child can accomplish more than you expected from them at first. If they’re confident enough, expand it. The ultimate goal—and this can take years—is for them to perform their chores daily without being reminded.
Ages 2 – 3 Years Old:
- Cleaning up after spills
- Clearing away any mess they left behind on the kitchen table for dinner or lunch
- Helping to sort and put away groceries
- Light dusting (very light, and with no harsh chemicals!)
- Picking up after playing with their toys
- Picking up clothes and placing them in a laundry basket
- Placing recyclables in the appropriate bins
Ages 4 – 6 Years Old:
- Feeding pets
- Folding laundry and putting clothes away
- Making snacks for themselves
- Making their own bed
- Setting the table for dinner
- Watering plants
Ages 7 – 9 Years Old:
- Cooking and preparing basic food
- Folding laundry
- Loading and unloading dishwashers
- Making their own lunch for school
- Managing an allowance
- Vacuuming
- Waking up in the morning with an alarm clock
Age 10+ Years Old
- Cleaning the house fully
- Cooking a full meal for themselves
- Doing laundry from start to finish
- Helping their family plan a basic budget
- Mowing the lawn
- Washing a car
Should I Reward My Kids For Chores?
The ultimate goal is for your child to perform their chores out of a sense of personal responsibility and self respect. But as they grow older and their chores become more complex, you may find it helpful to reward them with a personal allowance so they can start learning the value of working for money.
It isn’t recommended to reward them early on at first. What you’re trying to do is teach them both responsibility and self esteem at an early age—neither of which can have any sort of price placed on them (even cupcakes.) However, you may find offering some incentives as a token of your appreciation can also help bolster their sense of accomplishment. If so, do so sparingly; and remember that younger children don’t fully understand the concept of money yet. Your kids should learn the value of chores isn’t for the sake of reward, but out of cooperation.
Conclusion
Very few children are going to be enthused about chores at first. In fact, they’ll probably be somewhat confused. After all, one minute they’re leaving their toys out in the open. And now, they’re expected to pick them up. But there’s an even more interesting reason why it’s important to teach them at an early age.
What you’re teaching them isn’t only self respect and responsibility. What you’re teaching them is the simple logic of cause and effect in a productive way. Neither toys nor clothes get put away by themselves. They need helping hands. And helping hands need cooperation. The sooner they understand the value of both, the sooner they understand how everyone can play a role in helping one another.
Perhaps that’s one lesson worthy of a cupcake.
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