Getting motivated and taking action don’t always come in the same order. You’re lucky if you first get motivated so you start working on things. But most times, motivation can be tricky. You sit around and wait for it and days pass and nothing happens.
There are cases when action leads to motivation but considering the limited amount of patience and attention span kids have, there are a number of hurdles that can keep your child from getting motivated.
The good news is that there are steps you can take to get past them. Before jumping into the solution for motivating your child without punishment, it’s important to understand that there are two major types of motivation: Intrinsic and Extrinsic.
Intrinsic motivation refers to doing an activity for the enjoyment of doing it. Extrinsic motivation is performing an activity to gain external rewards.
Understanding the distinction helps you figure out the steps you can take to effectively motivate your child.
Rewards for kids are useful in cases where they are expected to act based on extrinsic motivation. When used to motivate kids who might otherwise act based on intrinsic motivation, offering a reward may not be as effective. It may even backfire and actually discourage kids to do the activity rather than inspire them.
When tapping kids’ extrinsic motivation, aim to develop their integrated regulation. This is a way of getting a child to assimilate the importance of a task and how it relates to them. The idea is to encourage them to function with autonomy.
Here are some effective ways to motivate your child without punishment.
Don’t go the traditional route
Contrary to popular belief, traditional ways that parents use to motivate children such as scolding, rewards, punishment, and giving praise often don’t do much for motivating a child.
If a child is not interested in an activity and is not intrinsically motivated to enjoy the task, no amount of rewards and pushing can get them truly motivated.
Try to inspire them to do the task by helping them understand why it needs doing and how they or others can benefit from it. So long as the reasons align with their internal values, the likelihood of your child being motivated increases. Especially when compared to traditional methods used by parents to motivate children.
Inspire not control
In addition to letting kids understand the reasons for performing a task, it’s important to also be aware that control does nothing but instill fear, anger and resentment on your child. Putting pressure on them can sometimes backfire and lead to less efficient results.
Instead of forcing your child, inspire them to be a self-starter. This helps them develop the habit of working independently and autonomously without always being told and pushed to do tasks which are not intrinsically motivating for them.
Show them how the task can be enjoyable so they are inspired to work on it themselves. Aim to be a mentor who provides inspiration, instead of a dictator who controls their behavior.
Assist them to become integrated
There are activities which are not really geared toward enjoyment. These are the cases where integration can come in handy when motivating your child.
As a parent, you can serve as a guiding light by helping your child find meaning and value for certain undesirable yet valuable tasks. As an example, you can help them see the benefits of going to school and how education can help them in the long run. It may not be enjoyable, but education is a valuable source for learning and life skills training which prepares your child for the real world when they grow up.
Feed their need for sense of competence
Mastering skills and moving up to the next level feeds a child’s need for a sense of competence. This can also help with internally motivating your child.
What’s important is to instill a growth mindset in your child to remind them that their talent and skills can be improved through work and practice.
Set up challenges and goals for your child which are not too easy to pass nor so difficult that it would discourage them to keep going. Assess their level and find an optimal challenge that’s a little above what they have achieved in the past. Achieving and celebrating these milestones may serve as intrinsic rewards and motivate kids to improve further, paving their way to success in the future.
Rewards for kids can be effective when applied correctly. They provide a quick turnaround time for action.
However, these aren’t the best tools to encourage intrinsic motivation and may be unlikely to have the desired long term benefits.
A more sustainable approach for motivating children is providing a positive experience through encouragement and challenge. These can help sustain growth and develop intrinsic and integrated motivation in them.
Find these tips helpful? Need more tips to strengthen your parenting style? We’ve got you covered. Visit https://launchpad-ee.com to read more parenting related blogs and if you’re looking for a childcare center that provides proper motivation for young kids, please visit Launchpad Early Education.