Every parenting experience is different. Some parents have the pleasure of parenting an easygoing child, while others tend to be more “strong-willed” or stubborn. However, it’s important that children who are strong-willed are not intentionally trying to be difficult or stubborn at all. They may just need more guidance and direction than children who are more easygoing.
Understanding strong-willed children
What exactly is a strong-willed child? Strong-willed children are often passionate and confident in their opinions. They usually know what they want and aren’t afraid to speak up about it. Although this may seem initially desirable for parents, when your child starts pushing boundaries too far, that’s where parenting becomes difficult. It can be frustrating when your child doesn’t listen or follow directions, especially for many parents who aren’t sure how to handle these behaviors effectively.
What types of parenting strategies work best?
There’s a variety of strategies for parents that can help you manage all types of challenging behavior. However, none of them will work unless you start by trying to understand your child’s particular personality. Read on and learn how you can gently parent strong-willed children, and help them become well-adjusted and successful adults.
Strong-willed children tend to be experiential learners. This means they need the opportunity to experience things first-hand in order to learn new concepts or information. They tend to respond best to parenting strategies that encourage them to explore and learn through play. So instead of stressing yourself out by trying to exert control over children, instead consider providing opportunities for self-discovery and discovery of their surroundings. Don’t be surprised if they test your limits initially, as this is how they learn.
Give children opportunities to make choices. All kids need to know that they can have choices in some situations, in order to truly feel a sense of independence and confidence. This is especially important when you’re parenting a strong-willed child. Let children make some of their own decisions. For example, allow kids to pick out their own outfit or select which meal they’d like to order like at a restaurant.
Giving children direct orders and deciding everything for them will only lead to resentment and feeling controlled. Rather, kids need to feel a certain level of control over some of life’s choices, when appropriate. If they choose something that will compromise their well-being or safety, then you will obviously have to negotiate and offer alternatives.
Make consequences meaningful by pairing life lessons with discipline. When you’re parenting a strong-willed child, balance is key! In addition to maintaining consistent boundaries, it’s also important to convey why those boundaries are being set. Help kids understand that rules exist because these guidelines are there to keep them safe and live a successful life.
Adhere to routines and rules to help avoid power struggles. When parenting strong-willed children, it’s important to teach them the importance of routines and rules. This is especially important so that children are more inclined to follow directions without feeling like they’re being bossed around.
Establish and follow a daily schedule for things like meals, bedtime, and getting dressed each morning. You can say something like, “The rule is that lights go out by 9 p.m.,” or, “The rule is that we brush our teeth each night before bedtime.” This can help kids understand the importance of boundaries and limitations without feeling like they’re being controlled.
Listen. This may seem like “Parenting 101”, but it’s vital that you listen and aim to understand your child’s thoughts and feelings. Strong-willed children need to know that you respect them as individuals who have opinions that matter. Even if you think you’re the parent and therefore you know what’s best, be sure to take the time to listen and pay attention to what your child has to say.
Don’t ever threaten or use corporal punishment. Physical discipline will do more harm than good for any child, especially when you’re parenting a strong-willed child. Kids can become defensive when they feel threatened with physical violence.
In order to elicit appropriate behavior, it’s best to use positive reinforcement. Encourage the behavior you want to see by letting kids know that they’re doing a great job.
Parenting a strong-willed child can be pretty challenging. By implementing these parenting strategies, you can guide your child toward becoming happier, successful, and well-behaved.
For more parenting tips, or if you’re looking for the best preschool for your little one, please visit Launchpad Early Education today!